Anonymous

Fading

In relation to deafness, it's very common in a conversation, certainly once you end up in a group, where you do find yourself fading out into the periphery. I don't think it's ever something which has been done purposely by a group. Of course, people will somewhat accommodate to begin with, but eventually it does get to a stage where you kind of become a prop in the background, because you're not really catching what's being said, you've now lost the trajectory of what's going on. You can't find that space to interject, to try and find out how to be included in it.

You do eventually get to a stage where you sit back and let yourself fade until the conversation moves on to something new. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you manage to catch on to that one part of the conversation, and you'll manage to key into it a bit more. Or the same circle happens again, where you try to catch on to begin with, and it doesn't happen, and then you start to sit back, and you just fade. I think fading has always been a big part of my life. I think it's particularly for people like me; we fit into a group where we're not completely deaf, so we're not using sign language or lip-reading. Therefore, I think it's very easy for people to forget that we're deaf, which can sometimes mean you're in this very weird periphery where people can forget those additional needs you have, and they're not necessarily easy ones to keep bringing up all the time.

Touch

It's kind of a very touching image. It's obviously a mother moorhen with her chick, and she's reaching out. I think she was preening the little chick and the chick looks very, very vulnerable, very, very fragile in a way.

It reminds me of those wonderful friends I have in my life who have always been very good to me. When I'm really, really close to people, touch has always been something which has been very resonant for me, both in terms of my autism, but also in my deafness, and it comes from the fact that people can't lie through physical contact. People can lie in facial expressions, they can lie through voice intonation, but they can't lie through touch.

A really, great example would be a friend I have and he's someone who, when he speaks to me, puts his hand on my shoulder, and he leans in and I'm always going to hear him. I'm always going to know what he's saying. And there are many people like that in my life, and it's a photo which made me remember those interactions I've had with people who do make those considerations. But it's not in that way, which can feel a bit political, where it feels more about making the other person feel better about themselves. It's more about whether it is genuinely coming from a place of love for me.

The Way I'm Made

It's Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, which the marble figure is a part of, I believe. And I suppose it ties into the sense that, ultimately, there are so many different anachronisms about me; this is the way I'm made. This is me, this is how I've been made and there's a reason for that. There are many ways in which it has benefited me, which the world might not necessarily understand, but I absolutely do.

I have a very different perspective of the world and it has led to me getting to a stage now where I am able to pull from quite a rich well of material in my [acting] work, in my creativity. The extreme emotions mean it is much easier for me to authentically get there, which a lot of actors can really struggle with.

I find that there's always something to be hopeful for. And religion is not a crutch, religion can make life much more complicated sometimes, but you get an undying strength, you get an undying hope. And church is the only place in which intersectionality has never been a problem. It's never been an issue. It's never been "the deaf one", "the autistic one", ‘"the gay one."’